by the way, did i mention that was my last entry to this blog? x) well, it is. in fact i wanna inform those who wanna messed my life up, this is the time. its already quite messed up, if u wan a sure win situation, join in now before its too late. especially cunning and vicious girls. i dun even believe guys are interested at all. lol.

i will not close this blog. u all can still read the old entries and perhaps laugh at some of the pathetic things that happen to me. u can use the calender to search for certain entries if u wan too. tagboard will be still up for some spamming if anyone is interested. comments are still available for long swearing if u wan. everything stays, alrights?!

anyone can say wadever they want, can say in however ways they wan. i dun give a fuck. somehow i still believe ppl have brains and their own eyes to see.

some names to use if u dun wanna be anonymous.
tom, dick, harry, maria, tweety, ah kau, ah beng, ah seng, ah lian, ah hua,  wadever-fuck-u-wan. i believe thinking of a name is much more interesting than anonymous eh? have fun! =D dun worry, i will drop by to read.

the only thing i am sad abt is, my blog. my place to whine, bitch, vent anger, do-anything-i-wan. now, i am leaving it. awww.. goodbye my love. x( i will still visit though. LOL.

it has been very long since i dedicate a entry for her.

the testimionial and entry abt recipe was so long ago i nearly forgotten abt it. lol.

i understand wad i said can push us even further. but these speaking up cannot be avoided. i need to noe how u feel. i was dying for u to speak up. i cannot see wad went wrong. i cannot figure out. silly msgs almost any other day, 2 minutes of meaningless calls, ktv like every alternate weeks, meeting up for nth.. we do all these in e past even when we are very busy with work and sch.. when there is a deadline to meet the next day..

now u have jf. i am very glad for u, and understand that he should be in e first place. so all that i do is tell u, when u are free then u call me. and then wait for u to be free. once in awhile, if i were to be at bugis, i will nv fail to call u. to see if u are working, to see if we could meet up. but all waiting ends up in nth. to noe wads going on, the only place is ur blog. no matter how many donkeys yrs u stopped blogging, i am still vistiting it.. seeing e same post.. until a new one appeared.

perhaps u are waiting for me to ask u out too.. perhaps i stop sending silly msgs and meaningless phonecalls too.. the last meaningless phone call to u was christmas or new yr.. i remember calling u for nth and helping u check ur timetable. that is all. u stop all the silly msgs and calls too..

i really cannot figure out wad is wrong. i only noe, yes, i stopped sending those msgs and calls. perhaps the silly msgs and meaningless calls play a big part to our friendship.

something happen last night and i was really exploding. alright, if u were involved, u would noe. so just save me from those, 'who who who' 'wad wad wad' question.

to that fren of mine, read close fren if u all wan.
we were just trying to ask u out since these few days u were rather moody. u show AP to like almost everyone. erm, i dun care who u show it to actually. as long as u dun do it to me and hit my limit. so yea, u show it to them. and sometimes when they say abt it, i am here trying to help u talk, help u say nice things. sometimes i lie to cover u, and not to let them think too much. u always like to reflect abt things around u, have u came across how u are treating ur frens? when u feel like it, u do it. at almost anytime u are unhappy, u leave. like ur projects too, when u are angry, u just throw things to ur project mates and leave. this have been ur forte. of cos, compared to in secondary life, things have improved quite alot. a whole big lot.

obviously, u are not in a good mood these few days. u are rather emo too. like u said, i would noe. yes, i do. but not exactly wad happen. and normally we wun further try to find out, all we try to do is spend time with u, when u feel like saying, u would. i totally admit we dunno wad happen to u. busy, mood swing, emo, etc. not answering phone calls, showing AP, etc. i really really dunno why, but i dun think i should be not included in the 'everybody' when u say wads wrong with everybody. take it as just ytd, i was just stating facts. isn't it true that u are sian sian and moody these few days? isn't it true that u lock urself up and refuse to open up to us? well, if u still insist that u are not, i apologise for accusing u. 

u said u learnt not to bother abt everyone? i hope it doen't include ppl who truly care whom u noe and mention it before. the only way u keep ur girls happy is to let them in ur world, let us noe, let us talk to u. none would be happy seeing u locking urself up. and of cos to like the same guy is a torture for frens, u cant do anything to help, especially when u are involved.

after reading these, there could only be 2 possibility. one, u would reflect and feel better. two, u get more upset with me. since i feel letting u noe is for ur own benefit, i am prepared.

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partners for..
supper.
'business' talks
talks abt the future.
pool.
study.
games.
ktv.
kinki/lame/boliao shits.
shopping khakis cum consultants.

two particular person fits into these. one was the one mention above. one was the one i called after wad happen. i very much believe that all these can be done for life. cos i believe that some frens are meant to be kept for long and not just good on the 'surface' or putting on a show. or wad i call 'seasonal' frens. lol.

well, some might be happy that something like that happen ytd. but well, laugh however way u wan. i fucking hope u fall off the chair.

and i back out that night. though i no longer look forward to it.. but i wad dying to club. but, wad happen was ultimate mood spoiler. u will definitely understand if u were in my fucking shoes. i was tearing and laughing.. at how pathtic these ppl, or my frens are. it is very very sad. ap, pms, mood swing, sian, blah blah blah. WADEVER. do all these to urself.. if not ur gf or bf. -.- u dun share wadever good things u share with ur partners with me, why should i take ur shit?

sigh. apologies to jane, cherie, booboo, hunz. i would like to be there to have fun with u girls. sigh. well, get the chance soon right?! x)

and apologies to raine too. i believe it was mood spoiler to u too.. but this time u choose to continue, u choose to go with me. but i back out. :(

it isn't often that u see me backing out at the last minute.. but still, sorry!

i no longer can say things to make anyone feel better regarding my previous entry, at least for now. or do u all wan me to lie and say.. i am alright? that everything is alright? no.. i dun think so. let me recover.. i am very sure i will be alright and all negative emotion will be gone. i forgive easily.. (i did not say i forget easily though. LOL. but forgiving i suppose is good enough.)

i have learnt, not only noe, that i cant please every single one. i cant love anyone else if i dun love myself. i'm very sorry i am walking out of my shadow and i no longer give in and blame myself for everything.

some msg me.. some called.. well, i dun wanna get any attention for posting that entry. i dun need them.. i just wanna get it off me and let all negative feelings fade off. in e end, i will still regard them as my best, good, close, wadever frens. understand? but if it is the other side that can let my entry go.. i have no idea wad to do. i nv like the idea of removing entries.. wads e point anyway? so how? say sorry for.. erm. posting on my blog? sigh. i am just whining and complaining.. harmless, okays?!

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exams are done.. for most of my frens. dblO tonight.. i doubt it will be as fun as before. it was really exciting when i talked to jane and boo at first.. when i first mention that we all go club after their last paper. exciting.. everyone else were. now, there are ppl who change their mind and no longer wanna go.. there are ppl who dun look forward to it anymore, like hunz and me.. there are ppl who lost interest.. BUT there are crazy bitches like jane, boo and cherie who are still very excited abt it. well, i nv like backing out last minute especially if i said i am going.. (there are exceptional cases) so yea, hope it would be a fun night.. or at least pleasant one, as in nth bad happen. hope everyone would enjoy themselves! x)

alrights. enough is enough. limit is limit. calling up frens to meet up is like being a fucking telemarketers k. -.- they just dun mean wad they say.. like wad u say to a telemarketers. oh! i have it already. or wow.. great. but i need some time to think through.. can i get back to u again? and then, they never get back to u.

i have been making an effort to call those who i have not meet up with.. no reply. no response. indefinite answers. go MIA. if u are not free, if u dun wan, if u dun feel like, just say so.

i've always been making an effort. even if its is dropping by their workplace to visit or accompany them for awhile. kuanli, regina, hunz.. and i-forgot-who. ok, i visited a fren who is no longer close to me too.. just to maintain a SIMPLE friendship.

even if i did not get to visit any of u, can u recall me calling u when i am near ur workplace? i am sure i did.. and why?! cos i wanna meet up with u.

so wad do i get in return? nth. empty words i have to say. this applies to both the singles and attached. if u are attached, i understand that ur gf or bf comes first.. but does that mean there isn't any spare time to contact us, ur closer bunch of frens?

wad hurts more? these ppl are those who are closer to me. i will stop making such useless efforts. forget abt our past good memories. it takes 2 hands to fucking clap.. i cant be the only one trying to maintain those friendship. if i dun call, u all wun. thats it. i dun wanna waste my fucking time anymore.

i appreciate esther's and gina's effort for constantly calling me up, leaving msgs for me, etc when i am busy with school. and i try to make time for them.. when time and situation allows, i try to meet up with them as much as possible. testimonials, dinner at geylang(yah.. just for dinner and we left for our own activities), visiting at their workplace.. blah blah blah. though we are not very close.. (as in we dun share problems, etc..) we just hang out and have fun.. but, i noe that this friendship will get somewhere.

and of cos i appreciated others who constantly contact me when i am busy, those who msg me on msn every now and then (even if it means talking for a very short while), those who constantly telling they miss me and plan to meet up, etc.. like des lim, twinnie, eileen, kuanjie, elaine, yuhong, etc. even some hi-byes frens and those really normal frens.. not gd frens, close frens..

i am sick always calling and getting the same reply like.. ok, when i am free i call u.. but, u are never free. if it is the truth that u all are never free for even a dinner or a cup of tea, then i apologise for accusing.

and i declare, the above mentioned includes kuanli and regina. i have been saying u two are bo sim all that.. but i still have been calling.

well, of cos it include some other ppl.. but not yet the extreme.

i lost a few very gd fren in e past. why?! cos they are always calling me up, trying to meet up with me.. and wad i did? i am lazy to reply, i dun give a fuck, i neglect them (cos of new frens i make).. and i remember one telling me this before she stop calling..

recipe for friendship
- two sides
- simple actions
- simple words
- a little efforts

i nv get it. i nv understand the importance of such simple task until i lost them. i used to love making new frens, but i always neglect the old ones. i have learnt my mistake.. now i always try to maintain..

sigh. define gd frens. define close frens. define frens. define besties. define darlings. define dearie. define hunney. define wadever terms i have with my frens. i no longer noe any meaning to them. it seems like name only.

fuck. i am getting emo. i am going to stop. nights.

*ade: dun be lame la. LOL. how abt e vegetables?
*yes hunz. its all ur fault. u better make up on thurs.. evil grins*
*moon? moon dun make noise la. only shine lor.

exams starts today. not for me.. but my frens. good luck ppl~ x) and i hope those who cursed and swear at us, marketing ppl, to flunk all their papers. pls.. i dun laugh at u ppl cos u are having exams, so dun swear at us cos we are not having them. do u think our projects are fake? do u noe we stayed up late for projects? do u noe my project mates stay up whole night for them? do u noe why we all become pandas?

alrights, after these questions, they will say.. we also have projects ma~ -.- then i got one very good sentence for ya.. IF U THINK MARKETING IS AN EASY JOB, GET UR ASS INTO MARKETING. marketing is indeed great. really. i enjoy very very much.. and u should come if u think it is easy. if not, stay in wadever u are in and do ur papers.

i dun wanna argue whose projects are easier.. whose are not.. if they plan to not let us have papers.. there ought to be a reason. our sch fees are the same lor.. if there is a need to complain.. we should also do it. cos it is fcuking unfair. we pay the same.. study less.. get it?!

for those who envy us, but dun swear at us. i will say.. gd luck for ur papers.. one more week to go.. hang on! for my frens, i am waiting to meet up with u all after exams!

best of luck.. less than 7 days to freedom. x) lovelove!